Saturday, 31 October 2009


Sorry I have gone blog light but it has been an odd week - busy because I was off work. It wouldn't have been if my asthma hadn't been playing up but that meant I didn't start the job in the study (installing worktop instead of computer 'station' and a bit of board on a keyboard stand) until Wednesday! All is now done but I'm very tired and achy and, as a result, not feeling at my best.

To top it all the car we bought at the beginning of May (to replace the one I wrote off on Easter Saturday) hasn't turned out to be the ideal car we thought it was. It (an Astra 1.4 estate) is the right size, easy to drive, quick enough, low enough on insurance and doesn't use too much fuel but it turns out to have one major problem - the front seats are designed to do permanent damage to my back!!! I know it's my fault for not having an 'S' shaped curve in my back but the ridiculous amount of lumber support pushes the bottom of my back where it doesn't bend and the the top of the seat pushes my shoulders where they don't want to go - result pain my my left leg and round my chest (triggering asthma.) So far we haven't found a solution to this problem (have tried a Vauxhall main agent, a car upholsterer and a back support that was in the same comfort zone as a plank) so I'm not sure what to do as even short drives are now setting off back problems. I don't won't to change car again as a) this will cost money and b) in every other respect it is the car I need.

What I am getting around to saying is does anyone else get annoyed at people who say how being ill helps them spiritually and that it is such a great spiritual opportunity? I know that there have been things that I have learnt through being ill that I wouldn't have otherwise but when I'm actually being ill it doesn't help at all. When my body is ill my mind and my spiritual life suffer as well and it can be a very dark place. Knowing that it is caused by illness doesn't help as I feel guilty that my spiritual life goes into hibernation and that, in itself, makes me feel down. Am I alone in this? Does this happen to anyone else?

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